14.3 Reflection on Peer Review Project #4.

After reviewing Scott Weber's and Oscar Acosta's independent open letter, I gave them mostly global revisions as they asked and also focused on paragraph analysis including introduction and conclusion paragraphs. I made sure to in a way reply to their open letter so they knew how I felt personally about the letter.

In my own letter, I added two paragraphs due to recommendations made by Deborah Ortega to expand a couple topics that she thought would make my letter more complete. I also took advice from Scott Weber on the format of a formal letter.

14.2 Draft of Open Letter

Draft of Open Letter

I would like help with global structure and flow between paragraphs.

Learning Reflections Deadline 13

weekly learning reflection document

After reading Scott Weber's blog for assignment 13.3, Steven Duron's blog for assignment  13.4, Anthony Saito's blog for assignment  13.4, and Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment  13.5, I increased my knowledge of program goals 1 and 2. I learned strategies for analyzing texts’ audiences, purposes, and contexts as a means of developing facility in reading other projects.I took the time to understand composing processes that my peers developed and conveyed in there blog posts and reflections.

13.5 Reflecting on My Writing Experiences.

1. Your assumptions and ideas about writing before taking your first-year writing courses and how these assumptions were reinforced or challenged.
1. I thought writing essays was a simple intro,body,conclusion for all my writing needs. I never had imagined approaching writing as an essential tool that requires critical thinking and careful execution. At first those ideas were reinforced because all my prior classes drilled it into my head and nobody ever told me that it was an elementary form of writing until this course. The biggest challenge to these ideas was professional emails. I had always revised emails to make sure they were concise and proper.
2. The most important lessons you have learned as both a reader and a writer as a result of taking your first-year writing courses.
1. As a reader, I have gained much more motivation to understand what the author's intent was and take care to try and understand a confusing sentence or learn new words.
2. As a writer, I have taken much more time to plan, organize, brainstorm, execute and revise. I see the power in peer reviews and annotated bibliographies. Taking the time to hone in on clarifying my writing projects.
3. The ways you generated ideas, narrowed down topics, and worked on thesis statements.
1. Opening my mind and allowing curiosity to ask deeper questions allowed me to then select a motivating direction. Then pulling my discipline together, I could do research all while generating an annotated bibliography. By this time I would have a better understanding of the subject and can formulate a general thesis. After writing my first draft I would revise the thesis to a molded fit into my project.
4. The peer review process, including feedback you offered and feedback you received.
1. The peer review process was one of the most helpful parts of the class. I was able to see my writing through other people's eyes and see mistakes I had missed, the confusing writing that made sense to myself, and lend ideas of how to achieve my writing goals.
2. Because of my lack of experience in peer reviewing, I relied heavily on course guidelines and followed the "rules for writers" to make sure my editing was well thought out and helpful.
5. Individual or group conferences with your instructor.
1. N/A
6. The discussions you had about your paper with people who were not in your class.
1. One of my projects was on a subject that was well above my head. After doing my best to learn the subject, I approached a few professors in the field and asked for their opinion on my drafts. I was very happy to find that my rhetorical analysis was well received and found to be accurate.
7. How you approached the revision process for each essay.
1. The revision process was a long drawn out process before this course. now with the amount of planning involved, I have dropped a lot of the time spent revising. I used to copy and paste a lot and then scramble it around. It was nonsensical. Now the revision process is much more structured. Copy-editing has been very helpful as well as paragraph analysis.
8. Your understanding of reading and writing in different genres.
1. Learning the myriad of genres was a big revelation to me. Every audience and message has appropriate genres to use. Researching the genres to use for my last project was helpful in learning how to execute a good public writing.
9. What you would do differently if you were to take your first-year writing courses again.
1. I don't think I would have done anything different because I put all my effort into learning everything the course set out for me. I have done my best.
10. How college writing fits into your life now and how it will fit into your major and future career.
1. This writing course fits in my current and future life mostly for technical papers, emails, scholarship essays and personal statements. I found that I will be able to carry these skills with me the rest of my life and is only the beginning.

13.4 Revisiting My Writing Process.

I know that I have made a significant leap toward the Sequential  Composer. Learning to plan was the significant step for me. Annotated bibliographies, cluster maps, brainstorming, and outlines are now going to be my essential tools when writing a paper of importance. Personally I will need these skills for technical/journal published works. I also noticed that the peer review process significantly cut down my time for editing. The end result is that I spend equal amount of times planning drafting and editing.

13.3 Reflection on Project #3.

Is your voice being heard by the state of Hawaii?

By Andrew D Rocha

Native Hawaiians against the Thirty Meter Telescope (TMT) construction site have been protesting and are trying to impede the desecration of Mauna Kea, one of the most sacred sites in Hawaii. Who is allowing this to happen against the people’s general opinion on the matter? The state of Hawaii is enabling the TMT construction site by approving building permits.This is not the first incident the state has allowed development on sacred lands. The only evidence that the Hawaiian’s cry is being heard is the questioning of the building permit’s legitimacy by the supreme justices. What about the elected official that was called upon to reflect the people's voice? Governor David Ige of Hawaii says he respects orderly protesters and that the TMT Board has no legal issues. He believes that the TMT Board has spent years planning and conducting community outreach events; allowing the organization to legally secure permits to build on the mountain. Governor Ige also says that the approvals needed by the state of Hawaii are in order for construction to restart. How can a representative of the state's people respect protesters and not listen to what these natives are protesting about? Why are the requests to reverse the permit authorizations not being considered? Construction has been halted for more that 6 months due to the efforts of protesters. So what can you do to make your voice be heard?

Was the state of Hawaii listening to the community

when enabling the TMT construction site?

Is the government helping the TMT organization or the people of Hawaii? The Department of Land and Natural Resources issued building permits. Governor Ige made an emergency rule that prohibits camping gear and access to the mountain from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. on the 8 mile road to the Mauna Kea construction site. These actions have been accompanied by 31 arrests made by the police department when protesters blocked the road to the construction site. Groups of native Hawaiians went to the Supreme Court to argue building the TMT because the mountain is one of most significant cultural sites in Hawaii. Native Hawaiians are against the development and desecration of its sovereign land and have been since the Hawaiian Queen was overthrown by US supported businessmen. The desecration of Mauna Kea is a deep cut to the natives because it is believed to be the origin of the Hawaiian people. The mountain is deeply respected, worshipped, and reserved for shrines, prayer, special ceremonies, and burial of ancestors[5].

What actions has the community taken against TMT construction site?

Continue supporting the efforts of community leaders in whatever way you can. Attend community meetings, educate yourself with valid facts and educate others with sources to have a stronger argument. Any of these actions help to draw a response out of the people affected by the issue. Write letters to Governor David Ige and tell him why he needs to listen to your voice as a community member and why the destruction of Mauna Kea is a huge mistake.

In a great attempt to save the sacred mountain from defilement, the natives have peacefully opposed in many ways[7]. They have set boulders on roads, made human roadblocks[8], educated the public about the significance of the selected construction site, and have made oral arguments at the Hawaiian Supreme Court against the TMT construction on that particular site[6]. The oral arguments heard at the Supreme Court of Hawaii were expedited to advance without having to go the the intermediate court system. These actions have been exceptionally successful and have affected other Hawaiian islands. Protesting has spread to the Daniel K. Inouye Solar Telescope construction site on Maui against the development of sacred lands. The native Hawaiians are upset with the state government for giving away their sovereign land. These major peaceful protests have halted construction for months[3], despite the fact that there were 31 arrests made by the police department[1]. Lino Kamakau, branch chief officer with DLNR Hawaii County said, "I hope you guys understand what I gotta do. Our number one thing right now is public safety. We're not going up [the mountain]."[8]

What can we do to to be heard?

For those with limited resources and time, signing a petition can go a long way. As a democracy, your voice should be heard; but keep in mind that if a community wants to be heard, everyone needs to speak loud and clear for the governor to be implored to take an action that is in favor of the public’s requests. 

Here are some ways to take action!

1. Sign a petition to Governor David Ige

2. Download the TMT factsheet

3. Download the Mauna Kea fact sheet.

Molly Solomon. “Native Hawaiians dance in honor of Mauna Kea at the base of Pu'u Huluhulu on the Big Island” via NPR. 04/21/2015. noncommercial use without modification

Bibliography

1) The Associated Press, “8 Arrested in Protest Against Telescope on Hawaii Mountain,” in The New York Times (2015).

2) The Associated Press, “Astronomers Gather in Hawaii Amid Telescope Tensions,” in The New York Times (2015).

3) "Astronomers to restart construction of controversial telescope in Hawaii," http://news.sciencemag.org/policy/2015/06/astronomers-restart-construction-controversial-telescope-hawaii.

4) M. Solomon, “Construction Of Giant Telescope In Hawaii Draws Natives’ Ire,” NPR.org, 21 April 2015, <http://www.npr.org/2015/04/21/400390724/construction-of-giant-telescope-in-hawaii-draws-natives-ire> (accessed 10 September 2015).

6) “Hawaii Supreme Court hears Mauna Kea telescope case,” dnews.pk, 28 August 2015, <http://pkdnews.tumblr.com/post/127765100844/hawaii-supreme-court-hears-mauna-kea-telescope> (accessed 10 September 2015).

5) J. Stromberg, “Construction of Hawaii’s controversial Thirty Meter Telescope is cleared to proceed,” Vox, 27 May 2015, <http://www.vox.com/2015/5/27/8669269/hawaii-tmt-telescope-mauna-kea> (accessed 10 September 2015). 7)D. Corrigan, "Mauna Kea TMT Blockade Arrests," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR3dDKUZRlM

10) PBS HAWAII, “Should the Thirty Meter Telescope Be Built?,” YouTube, 31 May 2015, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMKgNSb1cE0> (accessed 6 September 2015).

8)K. Dickerson, "Protesters stop telescope construction on Hawaii’s Mauna Kea," http://www.businessinsider.com/thirty-meter-telescope-construction-halted-on-hawaiis-mauna-kea-2015-6. 9) M. Solomon, "Scientists on TMT: Not Of One Mind," http://hpr2.org/post/scientists-tmt-not-one-mind#stream/0.

Reflection on project 2

The revisions done on this project were mostly punctuation, with a specific focus on getting the genre the correct feel. The greatest global change I made was asking a lot more questions. I felt that by following the examples I had chosen for my genre would help me gain more influence to activists. I felt that the global change was brought about when I realized that the audience is looking to be persuaded and influenced if they are already curious about the subject. I feel that the global revision increased my credibility as an author because I understood that a call for action in the correct manner will generate more action. The global revision better addresses my audience better by agreeing with what they already think and feeding the motivation to act. My local revisions were mostly to enhance clarification take a stronger position by the tone I took. I felt that the blog genre to reach my audience was best for a call to action. The process of reflection has taught me that as an author, I should take care to view my projects from the perspective of the audience and to do that I need to consider the message and content.

13.2 Punctuation, Part 2

Quotation marks - I learned that single quotation marks are used to quote within a quote. I also learned when an end punctuation should be inside or outside the end quote. I think a big lesson was learning that quoting slang is a big "no-no."

End Punctuation - I learned that you shouldn't use excessive exclamation marks and that question marks may be omitted is said as a statement.

Parenthesis - I learned that is can be used for additional information and after thoughts.

I learned that my paper has already been mostly corrected for punctuation so I focused on transitions and flow.

I corrected end punctuation
Original:10 PM to 4 AM
New: 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.

I used a comma between all items in a series.
Original: The mountain is deeply respected and worshipped and it is reserved for special ceremonies, shrines, prayer and burial of ancestors
New: The mountain is deeply respected, worshipped, and reserved for shrines, prayer, special ceremonies, and burial of ancestors.