13.4 Revisiting My Writing Process.

I know that I have made a significant leap toward the Sequential  Composer. Learning to plan was the significant step for me. Annotated bibliographies, cluster maps, brainstorming, and outlines are now going to be my essential tools when writing a paper of importance. Personally I will need these skills for technical/journal published works. I also noticed that the peer review process significantly cut down my time for editing. The end result is that I spend equal amount of times planning drafting and editing.

13.3 Reflection on Project #3.

Is your voice being heard by the state of Hawaii?

By Andrew D Rocha

Native Hawaiians against the Thirty Meter Telescope (TMT) construction site have been protesting and are trying to impede the desecration of Mauna Kea, one of the most sacred sites in Hawaii. Who is allowing this to happen against the people’s general opinion on the matter? The state of Hawaii is enabling the TMT construction site by approving building permits.This is not the first incident the state has allowed development on sacred lands. The only evidence that the Hawaiian’s cry is being heard is the questioning of the building permit’s legitimacy by the supreme justices. What about the elected official that was called upon to reflect the people's voice? Governor David Ige of Hawaii says he respects orderly protesters and that the TMT Board has no legal issues. He believes that the TMT Board has spent years planning and conducting community outreach events; allowing the organization to legally secure permits to build on the mountain. Governor Ige also says that the approvals needed by the state of Hawaii are in order for construction to restart. How can a representative of the state's people respect protesters and not listen to what these natives are protesting about? Why are the requests to reverse the permit authorizations not being considered? Construction has been halted for more that 6 months due to the efforts of protesters. So what can you do to make your voice be heard?

Was the state of Hawaii listening to the community

when enabling the TMT construction site?

Is the government helping the TMT organization or the people of Hawaii? The Department of Land and Natural Resources issued building permits. Governor Ige made an emergency rule that prohibits camping gear and access to the mountain from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. on the 8 mile road to the Mauna Kea construction site. These actions have been accompanied by 31 arrests made by the police department when protesters blocked the road to the construction site. Groups of native Hawaiians went to the Supreme Court to argue building the TMT because the mountain is one of most significant cultural sites in Hawaii. Native Hawaiians are against the development and desecration of its sovereign land and have been since the Hawaiian Queen was overthrown by US supported businessmen. The desecration of Mauna Kea is a deep cut to the natives because it is believed to be the origin of the Hawaiian people. The mountain is deeply respected, worshipped, and reserved for shrines, prayer, special ceremonies, and burial of ancestors[5].

What actions has the community taken against TMT construction site?

Continue supporting the efforts of community leaders in whatever way you can. Attend community meetings, educate yourself with valid facts and educate others with sources to have a stronger argument. Any of these actions help to draw a response out of the people affected by the issue. Write letters to Governor David Ige and tell him why he needs to listen to your voice as a community member and why the destruction of Mauna Kea is a huge mistake.

In a great attempt to save the sacred mountain from defilement, the natives have peacefully opposed in many ways[7]. They have set boulders on roads, made human roadblocks[8], educated the public about the significance of the selected construction site, and have made oral arguments at the Hawaiian Supreme Court against the TMT construction on that particular site[6]. The oral arguments heard at the Supreme Court of Hawaii were expedited to advance without having to go the the intermediate court system. These actions have been exceptionally successful and have affected other Hawaiian islands. Protesting has spread to the Daniel K. Inouye Solar Telescope construction site on Maui against the development of sacred lands. The native Hawaiians are upset with the state government for giving away their sovereign land. These major peaceful protests have halted construction for months[3], despite the fact that there were 31 arrests made by the police department[1]. Lino Kamakau, branch chief officer with DLNR Hawaii County said, "I hope you guys understand what I gotta do. Our number one thing right now is public safety. We're not going up [the mountain]."[8]

What can we do to to be heard?

For those with limited resources and time, signing a petition can go a long way. As a democracy, your voice should be heard; but keep in mind that if a community wants to be heard, everyone needs to speak loud and clear for the governor to be implored to take an action that is in favor of the public’s requests. 

Here are some ways to take action!

1. Sign a petition to Governor David Ige

2. Download the TMT factsheet

3. Download the Mauna Kea fact sheet.

Molly Solomon. “Native Hawaiians dance in honor of Mauna Kea at the base of Pu'u Huluhulu on the Big Island” via NPR. 04/21/2015. noncommercial use without modification

Bibliography

1) The Associated Press, “8 Arrested in Protest Against Telescope on Hawaii Mountain,” in The New York Times (2015).

2) The Associated Press, “Astronomers Gather in Hawaii Amid Telescope Tensions,” in The New York Times (2015).

3) "Astronomers to restart construction of controversial telescope in Hawaii," http://news.sciencemag.org/policy/2015/06/astronomers-restart-construction-controversial-telescope-hawaii.

4) M. Solomon, “Construction Of Giant Telescope In Hawaii Draws Natives’ Ire,” NPR.org, 21 April 2015, <http://www.npr.org/2015/04/21/400390724/construction-of-giant-telescope-in-hawaii-draws-natives-ire> (accessed 10 September 2015).

6) “Hawaii Supreme Court hears Mauna Kea telescope case,” dnews.pk, 28 August 2015, <http://pkdnews.tumblr.com/post/127765100844/hawaii-supreme-court-hears-mauna-kea-telescope> (accessed 10 September 2015).

5) J. Stromberg, “Construction of Hawaii’s controversial Thirty Meter Telescope is cleared to proceed,” Vox, 27 May 2015, <http://www.vox.com/2015/5/27/8669269/hawaii-tmt-telescope-mauna-kea> (accessed 10 September 2015). 7)D. Corrigan, "Mauna Kea TMT Blockade Arrests," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR3dDKUZRlM

10) PBS HAWAII, “Should the Thirty Meter Telescope Be Built?,” YouTube, 31 May 2015, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMKgNSb1cE0> (accessed 6 September 2015).

8)K. Dickerson, "Protesters stop telescope construction on Hawaii’s Mauna Kea," http://www.businessinsider.com/thirty-meter-telescope-construction-halted-on-hawaiis-mauna-kea-2015-6. 9) M. Solomon, "Scientists on TMT: Not Of One Mind," http://hpr2.org/post/scientists-tmt-not-one-mind#stream/0.

Reflection on project 2

The revisions done on this project were mostly punctuation, with a specific focus on getting the genre the correct feel. The greatest global change I made was asking a lot more questions. I felt that by following the examples I had chosen for my genre would help me gain more influence to activists. I felt that the global change was brought about when I realized that the audience is looking to be persuaded and influenced if they are already curious about the subject. I feel that the global revision increased my credibility as an author because I understood that a call for action in the correct manner will generate more action. The global revision better addresses my audience better by agreeing with what they already think and feeding the motivation to act. My local revisions were mostly to enhance clarification take a stronger position by the tone I took. I felt that the blog genre to reach my audience was best for a call to action. The process of reflection has taught me that as an author, I should take care to view my projects from the perspective of the audience and to do that I need to consider the message and content.

13.2 Punctuation, Part 2

Quotation marks - I learned that single quotation marks are used to quote within a quote. I also learned when an end punctuation should be inside or outside the end quote. I think a big lesson was learning that quoting slang is a big "no-no."

End Punctuation - I learned that you shouldn't use excessive exclamation marks and that question marks may be omitted is said as a statement.

Parenthesis - I learned that is can be used for additional information and after thoughts.

I learned that my paper has already been mostly corrected for punctuation so I focused on transitions and flow.

I corrected end punctuation
Original:10 PM to 4 AM
New: 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.

I used a comma between all items in a series.
Original: The mountain is deeply respected and worshipped and it is reserved for special ceremonies, shrines, prayer and burial of ancestors
New: The mountain is deeply respected, worshipped, and reserved for shrines, prayer, special ceremonies, and burial of ancestors.

Learning Reflections Deadline 12

weekly learning reflection document


After reading Jon Thomas's blog for assignment 12.2, Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment  12.2, Anthony Saito's blog for assignment  12.2, and Steven Duron's blog for assignment  12.2, I increased my knowledge of program goals 1 and 3. I learned more strategies for analyzing texts to develop facility in writing by learning more about punctuation. I also learned that participation in the peer review help me to remember what errors in my draft that I should work on.

12.4 Reflection on Project 3 Draft.

 I reviewed Deborah Ortega's and Oscar Acosta's drafts.

The following aspects of my paper  will change:

• Length- I should keep my public argument short since it is a blog post but I think it will increase a bit to accommodate some global revisions I have in mind. Mostly addition of quotes.
• Format - I think the format is well thought out and very similar to other activist blogs I have researched.
• Appearance - I should add one more picture that will inspire or encourage action.
• Use of Evidence- I should find at least one more quote to include and review my paper for information that should be cited properly.
• Introduction and Conclusion - I think I will have a lot of work to do with the intro to make sure that the reader becomes engaged and understands where I am leading the argument.
• Structure of your argument - I believe that the structure is looking good and just needs more in sentence citations to increase credibility.
• Depth of your argument - I think the depth of my argument can be improved. Mostly by making sure that I empower the reader with more than just a like but a will and motivation to act.

12.2 Punctuation, Part 1.

Comma - I learned that they should be used for all items in a series to avoid confusion and between coordinating adjectives not joined with and.;
Unnecessary Commas - I learned that I have to be careful in choosing when a comma is used to set of a clause that is a essential. I should only use it when it is not essential.
Semicolon - I learned a lot of transitional phrases and conjunctive adverbs that I can use along with the semicolon.
Colon - I learned the most about the colon. It brings attention to the reader and is most commonly used for a list, quotation, summary, appositive, or explanation.

Reflection:
I learned that comma punctuation errors are more common that I realized and help to make the reading clear.

In Deborah Ortega's Draft, I corrected her punctuation by using a comma after an introductory phrase.
[FAnd from the outside looking in, science seems to operate under that same viewpoint.]

In Oscar Acosta's Draft, I corrected his punctuation by using a semicolon between independent clauses with a transitional expression.
 [Also, Dr. Valinda Gueye, a holistic Consultant, also says “that 40 people have died in a year due to consumption of herbs and 106,000 have died in the same year due to adverse prescription drug reactions”; (Gueya). Basically in conclusion, saying that herbs are less harmful to our human body than pharmaceuticals. ]

learning reflection deadline 11

weekly learning reflection document


After reading John Weber's blog for assignment 11.3, Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment 11.4, Christopher Gentry's blog for assignment  11.3, and Michael Dominguez's blog for assignment  11.3, I increased my knowledge of program goals 2 and 3. Reading and commenting on my peer's work helped me to see issues in my writing exercises adn well as help those who may have misinterpreted the assignment. I found that there were unique angles by which my fellow writers achieve their purposes with their intended audiences and devised writing strategies for their specific rhetorical situation.

11.5 Draft of Public Argument.

project 3

This project is meant to go on an activist website/blog to empower and encourage the community to have their voice heard by empowering them with the means to sign a petition or influence them to want to write a letter to the gov of hawaii. Please let me know if the "post" seems to do its job :)

11.4 Paraphrasing a Source.

Original Source:

TMT officials spent years securing all the necessary permits to build on a preservation and speaking with native Hawaiians about their concerns. There are no legal issues stopping the construction of TMT, Gov. David Ige of Hawaii has said. (They have other problems, though.)

"It is our belief that there will be mutual respect and aloha on Wednesday and in the days ahead as TMT restarts construction of the Thirty Meter Telescope," Ige said in a statement issued Tuesday. "TMT has the approvals needed to proceed with construction. We respect those who oppose the project and their right to peaceably assemble and to protest in an orderly and civil manner."

 Gov. David Ige of Hawaii says he respects protesters that are orderly and civilized. He also said that the TMT Board has no legal issues and years behind gaining the permits to build on the mountain. Gov. Ige also states that the approvals need by the state are in order for construction to restart. 

11.3 Outlining My Public Argument.

P3 Outline

1. Is your voice being heard? 
1. State of Hawaii enabling the TMT construction site 
2. Native Hawaiians against TMT construction site 
3. I am introducing with Thinking about your situation because I am moving an audience to take action. 
2. Was the State of Hawaii listening to the community when enabling the TMT construction site? 
1. Department of Land and Natural Resources 
1. Building Permits issued to build TMT 
2. Emergency rule prohibits camping gear and access to mountain from 10 PM 4 to AM on 8 mile road to Mauna Kea construction site 
2. Police Department 
1. 4 major protest events on Mauna Kea 
1. 31 arrests made 
2. Protest events on Maui 
1. arrests made 
3. Criminal Justice System 
1. Supreme Court 
1. Arguments against desecration of most significant cultural sites in Hawaii 
2. Justices question issued permits during oral arguments 
3. What actions has the community taken against TMT construction site? 
1. Actions taken against selection of Mauna Kea as TMT construction site 
1. Protesters block singular road to construction to prevent desecration of sacred land 
2. Protesters would like to educate scientist at International Astronomical Union Conference about why the natives are against the site that has been chosen. 
3. Protesters have spread to the Daniel K. Inouye Solar Telescope construction site on Maui. 
2. Oral Arguments to Supreme Court of Hawaii 
4. What can we do to to be heard? 
1. Continue supporting the efforts of community leaders 
2. Write letters and sign petitions to the governor 
3. I am concluding with Call to Action because I will explain to the audience how to take action.

Learning Reflection: Deadline 10

weekly learning reflection document

After reading Anthony Saito's blog for assignment 10.7, Anthony Saito's blog for assignment 10.4, Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment 10.6, and Scott Weber's blog for assignment 10.5, I increased my development on learning strategies for analyzing texts' audiences and purposes. The topic and position in the public argument will guide the writer to a genre best suited for the content and audience of the argument.