14.3 Reflection on Peer Review Project #4.

After reviewing Scott Weber's and Oscar Acosta's independent open letter, I gave them mostly global revisions as they asked and also focused on paragraph analysis including introduction and conclusion paragraphs. I made sure to in a way reply to their open letter so they knew how I felt personally about the letter.

In my own letter, I added two paragraphs due to recommendations made by Deborah Ortega to expand a couple topics that she thought would make my letter more complete. I also took advice from Scott Weber on the format of a formal letter.

14.2 Draft of Open Letter

Draft of Open Letter

I would like help with global structure and flow between paragraphs.

Learning Reflections Deadline 13

weekly learning reflection document

After reading Scott Weber's blog for assignment 13.3, Steven Duron's blog for assignment  13.4, Anthony Saito's blog for assignment  13.4, and Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment  13.5, I increased my knowledge of program goals 1 and 2. I learned strategies for analyzing texts’ audiences, purposes, and contexts as a means of developing facility in reading other projects.I took the time to understand composing processes that my peers developed and conveyed in there blog posts and reflections.

13.5 Reflecting on My Writing Experiences.

1. Your assumptions and ideas about writing before taking your first-year writing courses and how these assumptions were reinforced or challenged.
1. I thought writing essays was a simple intro,body,conclusion for all my writing needs. I never had imagined approaching writing as an essential tool that requires critical thinking and careful execution. At first those ideas were reinforced because all my prior classes drilled it into my head and nobody ever told me that it was an elementary form of writing until this course. The biggest challenge to these ideas was professional emails. I had always revised emails to make sure they were concise and proper.
2. The most important lessons you have learned as both a reader and a writer as a result of taking your first-year writing courses.
1. As a reader, I have gained much more motivation to understand what the author's intent was and take care to try and understand a confusing sentence or learn new words.
2. As a writer, I have taken much more time to plan, organize, brainstorm, execute and revise. I see the power in peer reviews and annotated bibliographies. Taking the time to hone in on clarifying my writing projects.
3. The ways you generated ideas, narrowed down topics, and worked on thesis statements.
1. Opening my mind and allowing curiosity to ask deeper questions allowed me to then select a motivating direction. Then pulling my discipline together, I could do research all while generating an annotated bibliography. By this time I would have a better understanding of the subject and can formulate a general thesis. After writing my first draft I would revise the thesis to a molded fit into my project.
4. The peer review process, including feedback you offered and feedback you received.
1. The peer review process was one of the most helpful parts of the class. I was able to see my writing through other people's eyes and see mistakes I had missed, the confusing writing that made sense to myself, and lend ideas of how to achieve my writing goals.
2. Because of my lack of experience in peer reviewing, I relied heavily on course guidelines and followed the "rules for writers" to make sure my editing was well thought out and helpful.
5. Individual or group conferences with your instructor.
1. N/A
6. The discussions you had about your paper with people who were not in your class.
1. One of my projects was on a subject that was well above my head. After doing my best to learn the subject, I approached a few professors in the field and asked for their opinion on my drafts. I was very happy to find that my rhetorical analysis was well received and found to be accurate.
7. How you approached the revision process for each essay.
1. The revision process was a long drawn out process before this course. now with the amount of planning involved, I have dropped a lot of the time spent revising. I used to copy and paste a lot and then scramble it around. It was nonsensical. Now the revision process is much more structured. Copy-editing has been very helpful as well as paragraph analysis.
8. Your understanding of reading and writing in different genres.
1. Learning the myriad of genres was a big revelation to me. Every audience and message has appropriate genres to use. Researching the genres to use for my last project was helpful in learning how to execute a good public writing.
9. What you would do differently if you were to take your first-year writing courses again.
1. I don't think I would have done anything different because I put all my effort into learning everything the course set out for me. I have done my best.
10. How college writing fits into your life now and how it will fit into your major and future career.
1. This writing course fits in my current and future life mostly for technical papers, emails, scholarship essays and personal statements. I found that I will be able to carry these skills with me the rest of my life and is only the beginning.

13.4 Revisiting My Writing Process.

I know that I have made a significant leap toward the Sequential  Composer. Learning to plan was the significant step for me. Annotated bibliographies, cluster maps, brainstorming, and outlines are now going to be my essential tools when writing a paper of importance. Personally I will need these skills for technical/journal published works. I also noticed that the peer review process significantly cut down my time for editing. The end result is that I spend equal amount of times planning drafting and editing.

13.3 Reflection on Project #3.

Is your voice being heard by the state of Hawaii?

By Andrew D Rocha

Native Hawaiians against the Thirty Meter Telescope (TMT) construction site have been protesting and are trying to impede the desecration of Mauna Kea, one of the most sacred sites in Hawaii. Who is allowing this to happen against the people’s general opinion on the matter? The state of Hawaii is enabling the TMT construction site by approving building permits.This is not the first incident the state has allowed development on sacred lands. The only evidence that the Hawaiian’s cry is being heard is the questioning of the building permit’s legitimacy by the supreme justices. What about the elected official that was called upon to reflect the people's voice? Governor David Ige of Hawaii says he respects orderly protesters and that the TMT Board has no legal issues. He believes that the TMT Board has spent years planning and conducting community outreach events; allowing the organization to legally secure permits to build on the mountain. Governor Ige also says that the approvals needed by the state of Hawaii are in order for construction to restart. How can a representative of the state's people respect protesters and not listen to what these natives are protesting about? Why are the requests to reverse the permit authorizations not being considered? Construction has been halted for more that 6 months due to the efforts of protesters. So what can you do to make your voice be heard?

Was the state of Hawaii listening to the community

when enabling the TMT construction site?

Is the government helping the TMT organization or the people of Hawaii? The Department of Land and Natural Resources issued building permits. Governor Ige made an emergency rule that prohibits camping gear and access to the mountain from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. on the 8 mile road to the Mauna Kea construction site. These actions have been accompanied by 31 arrests made by the police department when protesters blocked the road to the construction site. Groups of native Hawaiians went to the Supreme Court to argue building the TMT because the mountain is one of most significant cultural sites in Hawaii. Native Hawaiians are against the development and desecration of its sovereign land and have been since the Hawaiian Queen was overthrown by US supported businessmen. The desecration of Mauna Kea is a deep cut to the natives because it is believed to be the origin of the Hawaiian people. The mountain is deeply respected, worshipped, and reserved for shrines, prayer, special ceremonies, and burial of ancestors[5].

What actions has the community taken against TMT construction site?

Continue supporting the efforts of community leaders in whatever way you can. Attend community meetings, educate yourself with valid facts and educate others with sources to have a stronger argument. Any of these actions help to draw a response out of the people affected by the issue. Write letters to Governor David Ige and tell him why he needs to listen to your voice as a community member and why the destruction of Mauna Kea is a huge mistake.

In a great attempt to save the sacred mountain from defilement, the natives have peacefully opposed in many ways[7]. They have set boulders on roads, made human roadblocks[8], educated the public about the significance of the selected construction site, and have made oral arguments at the Hawaiian Supreme Court against the TMT construction on that particular site[6]. The oral arguments heard at the Supreme Court of Hawaii were expedited to advance without having to go the the intermediate court system. These actions have been exceptionally successful and have affected other Hawaiian islands. Protesting has spread to the Daniel K. Inouye Solar Telescope construction site on Maui against the development of sacred lands. The native Hawaiians are upset with the state government for giving away their sovereign land. These major peaceful protests have halted construction for months[3], despite the fact that there were 31 arrests made by the police department[1]. Lino Kamakau, branch chief officer with DLNR Hawaii County said, "I hope you guys understand what I gotta do. Our number one thing right now is public safety. We're not going up [the mountain]."[8]

What can we do to to be heard?

For those with limited resources and time, signing a petition can go a long way. As a democracy, your voice should be heard; but keep in mind that if a community wants to be heard, everyone needs to speak loud and clear for the governor to be implored to take an action that is in favor of the public’s requests. 

Here are some ways to take action!

1. Sign a petition to Governor David Ige

2. Download the TMT factsheet

3. Download the Mauna Kea fact sheet.

Molly Solomon. “Native Hawaiians dance in honor of Mauna Kea at the base of Pu'u Huluhulu on the Big Island” via NPR. 04/21/2015. noncommercial use without modification

Bibliography

1) The Associated Press, “8 Arrested in Protest Against Telescope on Hawaii Mountain,” in The New York Times (2015).

2) The Associated Press, “Astronomers Gather in Hawaii Amid Telescope Tensions,” in The New York Times (2015).

3) "Astronomers to restart construction of controversial telescope in Hawaii," http://news.sciencemag.org/policy/2015/06/astronomers-restart-construction-controversial-telescope-hawaii.

4) M. Solomon, “Construction Of Giant Telescope In Hawaii Draws Natives’ Ire,” NPR.org, 21 April 2015, <http://www.npr.org/2015/04/21/400390724/construction-of-giant-telescope-in-hawaii-draws-natives-ire> (accessed 10 September 2015).

6) “Hawaii Supreme Court hears Mauna Kea telescope case,” dnews.pk, 28 August 2015, <http://pkdnews.tumblr.com/post/127765100844/hawaii-supreme-court-hears-mauna-kea-telescope> (accessed 10 September 2015).

5) J. Stromberg, “Construction of Hawaii’s controversial Thirty Meter Telescope is cleared to proceed,” Vox, 27 May 2015, <http://www.vox.com/2015/5/27/8669269/hawaii-tmt-telescope-mauna-kea> (accessed 10 September 2015). 7)D. Corrigan, "Mauna Kea TMT Blockade Arrests," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR3dDKUZRlM

10) PBS HAWAII, “Should the Thirty Meter Telescope Be Built?,” YouTube, 31 May 2015, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMKgNSb1cE0> (accessed 6 September 2015).

8)K. Dickerson, "Protesters stop telescope construction on Hawaii’s Mauna Kea," http://www.businessinsider.com/thirty-meter-telescope-construction-halted-on-hawaiis-mauna-kea-2015-6. 9) M. Solomon, "Scientists on TMT: Not Of One Mind," http://hpr2.org/post/scientists-tmt-not-one-mind#stream/0.

Reflection on project 2

The revisions done on this project were mostly punctuation, with a specific focus on getting the genre the correct feel. The greatest global change I made was asking a lot more questions. I felt that by following the examples I had chosen for my genre would help me gain more influence to activists. I felt that the global change was brought about when I realized that the audience is looking to be persuaded and influenced if they are already curious about the subject. I feel that the global revision increased my credibility as an author because I understood that a call for action in the correct manner will generate more action. The global revision better addresses my audience better by agreeing with what they already think and feeding the motivation to act. My local revisions were mostly to enhance clarification take a stronger position by the tone I took. I felt that the blog genre to reach my audience was best for a call to action. The process of reflection has taught me that as an author, I should take care to view my projects from the perspective of the audience and to do that I need to consider the message and content.

13.2 Punctuation, Part 2

Quotation marks - I learned that single quotation marks are used to quote within a quote. I also learned when an end punctuation should be inside or outside the end quote. I think a big lesson was learning that quoting slang is a big "no-no."

End Punctuation - I learned that you shouldn't use excessive exclamation marks and that question marks may be omitted is said as a statement.

Parenthesis - I learned that is can be used for additional information and after thoughts.

I learned that my paper has already been mostly corrected for punctuation so I focused on transitions and flow.

I corrected end punctuation
Original:10 PM to 4 AM
New: 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.

I used a comma between all items in a series.
Original: The mountain is deeply respected and worshipped and it is reserved for special ceremonies, shrines, prayer and burial of ancestors
New: The mountain is deeply respected, worshipped, and reserved for shrines, prayer, special ceremonies, and burial of ancestors.

Learning Reflections Deadline 12

weekly learning reflection document


After reading Jon Thomas's blog for assignment 12.2, Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment  12.2, Anthony Saito's blog for assignment  12.2, and Steven Duron's blog for assignment  12.2, I increased my knowledge of program goals 1 and 3. I learned more strategies for analyzing texts to develop facility in writing by learning more about punctuation. I also learned that participation in the peer review help me to remember what errors in my draft that I should work on.

12.4 Reflection on Project 3 Draft.

 I reviewed Deborah Ortega's and Oscar Acosta's drafts.

The following aspects of my paper  will change:

• Length- I should keep my public argument short since it is a blog post but I think it will increase a bit to accommodate some global revisions I have in mind. Mostly addition of quotes.
• Format - I think the format is well thought out and very similar to other activist blogs I have researched.
• Appearance - I should add one more picture that will inspire or encourage action.
• Use of Evidence- I should find at least one more quote to include and review my paper for information that should be cited properly.
• Introduction and Conclusion - I think I will have a lot of work to do with the intro to make sure that the reader becomes engaged and understands where I am leading the argument.
• Structure of your argument - I believe that the structure is looking good and just needs more in sentence citations to increase credibility.
• Depth of your argument - I think the depth of my argument can be improved. Mostly by making sure that I empower the reader with more than just a like but a will and motivation to act.

12.2 Punctuation, Part 1.

Comma - I learned that they should be used for all items in a series to avoid confusion and between coordinating adjectives not joined with and.;
Unnecessary Commas - I learned that I have to be careful in choosing when a comma is used to set of a clause that is a essential. I should only use it when it is not essential.
Semicolon - I learned a lot of transitional phrases and conjunctive adverbs that I can use along with the semicolon.
Colon - I learned the most about the colon. It brings attention to the reader and is most commonly used for a list, quotation, summary, appositive, or explanation.

Reflection:
I learned that comma punctuation errors are more common that I realized and help to make the reading clear.

In Deborah Ortega's Draft, I corrected her punctuation by using a comma after an introductory phrase.
[FAnd from the outside looking in, science seems to operate under that same viewpoint.]

In Oscar Acosta's Draft, I corrected his punctuation by using a semicolon between independent clauses with a transitional expression.
 [Also, Dr. Valinda Gueye, a holistic Consultant, also says “that 40 people have died in a year due to consumption of herbs and 106,000 have died in the same year due to adverse prescription drug reactions”; (Gueya). Basically in conclusion, saying that herbs are less harmful to our human body than pharmaceuticals. ]

learning reflection deadline 11

weekly learning reflection document


After reading John Weber's blog for assignment 11.3, Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment 11.4, Christopher Gentry's blog for assignment  11.3, and Michael Dominguez's blog for assignment  11.3, I increased my knowledge of program goals 2 and 3. Reading and commenting on my peer's work helped me to see issues in my writing exercises adn well as help those who may have misinterpreted the assignment. I found that there were unique angles by which my fellow writers achieve their purposes with their intended audiences and devised writing strategies for their specific rhetorical situation.

11.5 Draft of Public Argument.

project 3

This project is meant to go on an activist website/blog to empower and encourage the community to have their voice heard by empowering them with the means to sign a petition or influence them to want to write a letter to the gov of hawaii. Please let me know if the "post" seems to do its job :)

11.4 Paraphrasing a Source.

Original Source:

TMT officials spent years securing all the necessary permits to build on a preservation and speaking with native Hawaiians about their concerns. There are no legal issues stopping the construction of TMT, Gov. David Ige of Hawaii has said. (They have other problems, though.)

"It is our belief that there will be mutual respect and aloha on Wednesday and in the days ahead as TMT restarts construction of the Thirty Meter Telescope," Ige said in a statement issued Tuesday. "TMT has the approvals needed to proceed with construction. We respect those who oppose the project and their right to peaceably assemble and to protest in an orderly and civil manner."

 Gov. David Ige of Hawaii says he respects protesters that are orderly and civilized. He also said that the TMT Board has no legal issues and years behind gaining the permits to build on the mountain. Gov. Ige also states that the approvals need by the state are in order for construction to restart. 

11.3 Outlining My Public Argument.

P3 Outline

1. Is your voice being heard? 
1. State of Hawaii enabling the TMT construction site 
2. Native Hawaiians against TMT construction site 
3. I am introducing with Thinking about your situation because I am moving an audience to take action. 
2. Was the State of Hawaii listening to the community when enabling the TMT construction site? 
1. Department of Land and Natural Resources 
1. Building Permits issued to build TMT 
2. Emergency rule prohibits camping gear and access to mountain from 10 PM 4 to AM on 8 mile road to Mauna Kea construction site 
2. Police Department 
1. 4 major protest events on Mauna Kea 
1. 31 arrests made 
2. Protest events on Maui 
1. arrests made 
3. Criminal Justice System 
1. Supreme Court 
1. Arguments against desecration of most significant cultural sites in Hawaii 
2. Justices question issued permits during oral arguments 
3. What actions has the community taken against TMT construction site? 
1. Actions taken against selection of Mauna Kea as TMT construction site 
1. Protesters block singular road to construction to prevent desecration of sacred land 
2. Protesters would like to educate scientist at International Astronomical Union Conference about why the natives are against the site that has been chosen. 
3. Protesters have spread to the Daniel K. Inouye Solar Telescope construction site on Maui. 
2. Oral Arguments to Supreme Court of Hawaii 
4. What can we do to to be heard? 
1. Continue supporting the efforts of community leaders 
2. Write letters and sign petitions to the governor 
3. I am concluding with Call to Action because I will explain to the audience how to take action.

Learning Reflection: Deadline 10

weekly learning reflection document

After reading Anthony Saito's blog for assignment 10.7, Anthony Saito's blog for assignment 10.4, Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment 10.6, and Scott Weber's blog for assignment 10.5, I increased my development on learning strategies for analyzing texts' audiences and purposes. The topic and position in the public argument will guide the writer to a genre best suited for the content and audience of the argument.

10.7 Considering Types.

Proposal Argument is the type that is best suited for my project because it will give a logical manner by which the reader will learn to take action by writing a letter.

The other types would not work because I will not be rebutting the TMT board's perspective or making a pro/con list. I also don't intend on dwelling on the cause of such a controversy or evaluating the solutions proposed by others. 

10.6 My Rhetorical Action Plan.

provide short but detailed answers to the three numbered items (and all the sub-bullets) in the “Developing a Rhetorical Action Plan” Box on Writing Public Lives pages 412-3.

1. I am trying to persuade the native Hawaiian to write letters to the governor of Hawaii.
1. They know about the newest emergency laws made to "protect" hawaiians and that there is a building permit that has been issued to begin construction.
2. They value the mountain as sacred land and would like to stop development on it.
3. I think appealing to pathos and letting them know how they can help will be persuasive enough to take action. I am basically showing the door to them that they may not have known existed.
4. I think showing images of determined protesters will send a powerful message and tug at them to also become active in their own way.
5. I am encouraging  my audience to take action in the manner of writing letters
2. Call to take action by writing letters like this article 
1. I chose this genre because it reaches my specific audience which are native Hawaiian seeking a way to take action with(out) protesting.
2. The setting would be on an hawaiian activist website.
3. I think ethos would be to empower individuals to have courage, pathos to instill passion and desire to make a difference, and logos to show them how to do it.
4. I think showing images of determined protesters will send a powerful message and tug at them to also become active in their own way.
5. The style I will use is formal.
3. I would like my audience to write a letter to the governor of Hawaii after reading my argument.
1. positive support: Readers share/comment to others to also take action and spread the argument to others. Negative support: Readers will dismiss or oppose the need to take action because they are for the construction of the telescope.
2. One way to response to negative support would be to have sources that show the state of the situation and give statistics that make the claims stronger.
3. I think if enough letters opposing the construction of the site are sent to the governor. The voices must be acknowledged.

10.5 Analyzing Context.

 provide short but detailed answers to the seven numbered items in the “Reading the Context…” Box on Writing Public Lives page 340.

1. The key perspectives are the natives against the TMT construction, the government in control of the laws and permits involving the TMT construction and the TMT board for the TMT construction.
2. Natives: Sacred land should not be desecrated. TMT Board: They have building permits to proceed legally.
3. The common ground should be the agreement on how the land should be used
4. The ideological differences is that one is religious and the other scientific, then it is also cultural and the other political/legal.
5. Most media for the TMT say that the native Hawaiian's should step aside and let them build the telescope because it is big science and the TMT board has done what is necessary to build legally. Whereas the media against the TMT say the government is not hearing their requests to stop development on sacred lands.
6. I would like to aid the native have their voice heard by the governor because the government should represent the people and if the majority of the people want to stop TMT from being built, they should have a word in the matter.
7. I think the fact that the government welds much power, the deals made by the governor may cause great suffering to the native Hawaiians that believe the site is sacred.

10. 4 Analyzing Purpose.

1) I hope that my public argument will encourage native hawaiian to join in activism and have their voice be heard by the governor of the state of Hawaii.

2) Plausible reactions:
Wanting to write a letter to the governor
Wanting to oppose the article's claim/appeal to act
Not plausible:
The TMT controversy is solved

3)

From plausible reactions, likely consequences are:

Letters will be written to the Governor

The TMT board has already been granted a building permit.
The public already had it's chance to oppose the building.
The university has control of the land.
The governor has already made a deal.
The governor will revoke the building permit.

A riot will take place at the governor's office.

4) I think my audience with be Native Hawaiian who do not know much about the ability to write letters to the governor.

10.3 Learning for Project #3.

Reading the project prompt and Chapters 12, 13, and 17 of "Writing Public Lives" will help me design, develop, and deliver by selecting a genre (Ch 12), specifying my audience (Ch12), generating a map for my public argument (ch 17), and beginning a draft in the genre that I choose (Project Prompt).

Learning Reflection: Deadline 9

weekly learning reflection document

After reading Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment 9.4, Oscar Acosta's blog for assignment 9.5, Anthony Saito's blog for assignment 9.2, and Felicia Maldonado's blog for assignment 9.5, I increased my knowledge of reading texts from my peers to assess how writers achieve their purposes with their intended audiences, how my peers located and analyzed evidence to develop questions and narrow their audience. Specifically for course goal 2: I was able to see the critical thinking process of my peers and how they used reading for purposes of research of questions and learning new techniques in clarification.

9.7 Audience and Genre

Target Audiences, Publications and Genres, and examples:

1. The native Hawaiian's that believe that Mauna Kea is sacred because the construction of the thirty meter telescope would be a huge desecration of the sacred mountain. The delivery methods are appropriate to help those making business decisions and those who would also like to help stop the construction of the site. 
1. Hawaii Business(genre: news article) 
1. http://www.hawaiibusiness.com/thirty-meter-telescope-could-boost-hawaii-islands-economy/ 
2. http://www.hawaiibusiness.com/editors-note-the-sacredness-of-mauna-kea/ 
2. KAHEA - The Hawaiian-environmental Alliance (genre: Blog/Recruitment) 
1. http://kahea.org/blog/testify-against-proposed-emergency-rules-for-mauna-kea-on-july-10 
2. http://kahea.org/blog/8-acre-18-story-development-in-mauna-kea-conservation-district-seeks-permit 
2. The organizations funding and associated with the Thirty Meter Telescope International Observatory Board.The delivery methods are appropriate to help spread the word to those waiting for the telescope to finish construction to begin research and answer more scientific questions about the universe. 
1. Physics World (genre: News Article) 
1. http://physicsworld.com/cws/article/news/2015/may/28/go-ahead-for-protest-hit-thirty-meter-telescope-but-with-fewer-future-sites-on-mauna-kea 
2. http://physicsworld.com/cws/article/news/2007/dec/11/largest-ever-telescope-gets-usd-200-million-to-proceed 
2. Nature - International weekly journal of science (genre: Journal) 
1. http://www.nature.com/news/the-mountain-top-battle-over-the-thirty-meter-telescope-1.18446 
2. http://www.nature.com/news/hawaiian-telescope-project-sparks-protests-at-astronomy-meeting-1.18125 

Extended Annotated Bibliography.

Sources 1 - 6 are taken from the original annotated bibliography, 7-12 are appended and will help to address questions in "9.5 Narrowing my Focus"

From 2.6 Evaluation of General Sources:

1)K. Dickerson, "Protesters stop telescope construction on Hawaii’s Mauna Kea," http://www.businessinsider.com/thirty-meter-telescope-construction-halted-on-hawaiis-mauna-kea-2015-6.

Speaks of the protesters attempt to stop the construction to go up the 8 mile road. The protest was successful have only let the trucks move 2 miles and last 7 hours. 30 people were arrested for obstruction.

2) "Astronomers to restart construction of controversial telescope in Hawaii," http://news.sciencemag.org/policy/2015/06/astronomers-restart-construction-controversial-telescope-hawaii.

The article updated the community about the status of the thirty meter telescope. Yang, the TMT Chair, gave a statement that showed he would try his best to be sensitive to the peoples needs when construction continues. He hopes that there will not be any problems as they continue the construction.

From 2.7 Evaluation of Scholarly Sources:

3) M. Solomon, "Scientists on TMT: Not Of One Mind," http://hpr2.org/post/scientists-tmt-not-one-mind#stream/0.

Several scientist are interviewed to learn of how their perspective has changed over the course of the protests. The are shocked and have a hard time believing that it would cause so much turmoil.

4) M. George, "Looking to the stars," Hobart Mercury (Australia) NEWS; Pg. 33 (2015).

George speaks of his personal experience as well as a colleagues interview with the suggestion that construction on the native sacred land much be approached with care and should be sure to communicate and engage the people, not just tell them that they are going to start construction.

From 2.11 Evaluation of Social Media Sources:

5) PBS HAWAII, “Should the Thirty Meter Telescope Be Built?,” YouTube, 31 May 2015, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMKgNSb1cE0> (accessed 6 September 2015).

An hour long panel for the public to ask questions to four important people in the controversial issue. The panel was asked a variety of question to fully understand why the telescope should be reconsidered. Many great points were touched and from several angles that reveal deeper issues behind the controversy. Laws are being broken, and the future of Hawaiian economy is also at stake.

6)D. Corrigan, "Mauna Kea TMT Blockade Arrests," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR3dDKUZRlM

The video was raw footage of the protest the first day the thirty meter telescope restarted construction. The protest was completely peaceful with lots of speeches and civility. There were arrests made for obstruction of the roadways, however they were done in the most respectful way possible.

Extended Annotated Bibliography Sources

7) The Associated Press, “8 Arrested in Protest Against Telescope on Hawaii Mountain,” in The New York Times (2015).

The article gives the number of arrests made due to emergency rule set forth by the land board. talked a little about the arrested people and why the rule was set. This update is after the the four round of arrests made on the thirty meter telescope protesters. This will help me see if the controversy is remaining peaceful.

8) The Associated Press, “Astronomers Gather in Hawaii Amid Telescope Tensions,” in The New York Times (2015).

The article describes the high tension anticipated during the International Astronomical Union's Conference. Spoke of the raise in arrests and spread of protesters to another telescope being built on Maui. There were comments made by Piero Benvenuti, the organizations' deputy general secretary This source will help me see the plannings of the government to see if they are including the native hawaiian's voice.

9) M. Solomon, “Construction Of Giant Telescope In Hawaii Draws Natives’ Ire,” NPR.org, 21 April 2015, <http://www.npr.org/2015/04/21/400390724/construction-of-giant-telescope-in-hawaii-draws-natives-ire> (accessed 10 September 2015).

The article had comments by both sides of the controversy and gave insight to what both are fighting for. The article showed that the controversy is not a simple and fleeting matter. This article will help me see any new deals between the groups.

10) J. Stromberg, “Construction of Hawaii’s controversial Thirty Meter Telescope is cleared to proceed,” Vox, 27 May 2015, <http://www.vox.com/2015/5/27/8669269/hawaii-tmt-telescope-mauna-kea> (accessed 10 September 2015).

The article spoke of the major updates in the controversy, including Governor announcement, protest status, and status of construction restart. Spoke in detail of the reason why the site was chosen and the goals of the telescope. Spoke of the reasons why some Hawaiians are protesting. Spoke of how the protesters succeeded in their goals of halting construction. The article capped with a note on what the future looks like in this controversy. This will help me find the new deals being made between the groups.

11) “Hawaii Supreme Court hears Mauna Kea telescope case,” dnews.pk, 28 August 2015, <http://pkdnews.tumblr.com/post/127765100844/hawaii-supreme-court-hears-mauna-kea-telescope> (accessed 10 September 2015).

The article discusses the oral arguments to Hawaii's Supreme Court. The justices have been asked to question the permit to build based on the grounds that area is sacred to its people. It also gave the perspective of the University of Hawaii. This will help me see if there is a peaceful resolution for the controversy.

12) K. Dickerson, "Protesters stop telescope construction on Hawaii’s Mauna Kea," http://www.businessinsider.com/thirty-meter-telescope-construction-halted-on-hawaiis-mauna-kea-2015-6.

Speaks of the protesters attempt to stop the construction to go up the 8 mile road. The protest was successful have only let the trucks move 2 miles and last 7 hours. 30 people were arrested for obstruction.This source will help me see if resolutions are remaining peaceful.

9.5 Narrowing My Focus.

I feel these questions are most interesting and important to answer before I begin to craft my own public argument.

1. How is the government planning to resolve the the TMT site controversy by including the native Hawaiians' voice?
2. Where are meetings being held to peacefully resolve the controversy between the natives and the government?
3. What new deals are being made between the government and people and the government and TMT board?

I chose these questions to focus on because they will give the most up to date answers to the current status as well as help me in stating a reasonable forecast of what will possibly happen in the controversy.

9.4 Questions About Controversy.

I will participate in the project one topic regarding the thirty meter telescope site controversy

• Write 5 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about about WHO is involved in the controversy.

1. How is Paul Coleman, Astrophysicist, Institute for Astronomy, University of Hawaii-Manoa involved?
2. How is Richard Ha, Hawaii Island Farmer and Businessman involved?
3. How is Jon Osorio, Board President, KAHEA, a Hawaiian-Environmental Alliance involved?
4. How is Kealoha Pisciotta, President, Mauna Kea Anaina Hou involved?
5. Who is the leader of the protests?

• Write 5 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about about WHAT is up for debate in this controversy.

1. What new deals are being made?
2. Are the people's needs being met?
3. Will there be new laws set in motion?
4. What steps is the governor of Hawaii taking?
5. What is the plan of action for the protesters in the long term?

• Write 5 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about WHEN this controversy has unfolded (and the larger contextual details of that time period that may be relevant).

1. When did development start in Hawaii?
2. When was the first protest for the desecration of sacred land?
3. When will the natives feel that their voices are heard?
4. When did the native decide to stand up against the tmt site?
5. When did the native decide to stand up against the dkist site?

• Write 5 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about WHERE this controversy has unfolded - and I mean both physical spaces and cultural spaces.

1. Where would the new site be if this site is abandoned?
2. Where will the decommissioned telescopes send their research?
3. Where is the government representation of the native people?
4. Where are meetings being held to peacefully resolve the controversy?
5. Where are the supreme court cases being held?

• Write 5 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about HOW this controversy has unfolded in the media (including general popular media, scholarly media and social media).

1. How is the government planning to resolve the issue?
2. How is the the government reacting to the protests?
3. How is the scientific community going to handle future research in Hawaii?
4. How will funding change if construction doesn't begin?
5. How will protesters keep on stopping traffic to the site with more and more rules?

9.3. Final Submission and Reflection on Project 2

Particle Tracks: when particles collide when traveling at relativistic speeds 06/31/2015 via Brown University.

Rhetorical Analyzation of Mansuripur’s Research Paper

By Andrew D Rocha

        Famous physicist, Henri Poincaré, said, “the Relativity Principle, Newton's action and reaction, the conservation of mass, and the conservation of energy are not fully established and are even threatened by some experiments” [5]. Poincaré's comments were made in 1904 after Hendrik Lorentz derived the modern form of electromagnetic force earlier that year [3]. This rhetorical analysis will be on Masud Mansuripur's paper utilization of credibility with references, evidence with mathematical proofs, and publishing with a well known journal. His paper, "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation," suggests adopting a solution first presented by Einstein-Laub in 1908 and gives a mathematically sound proof that resolves the issue of "hidden" momentum [6]. This claim brought about an uproar in the physics community with responses that challenged Mansuripur's paper and expertise. Mansuripur defended his paper by respectfully responding to the comments made with a follow-up paper and providing explicit details [5]. Publishing research papers and the peer review process is the best way for a scientific hypothesis to be accepted or denied in the physics community. Mansuripur's paper is a good example of how to submit a scientific hypothesis to the general optical physics community, even if the result may cause a large debate with the physics community.

        Mansuripur knew that his solution to “hidden” momentum would interest optical physicists, such as himself. Convincing physicists to accept a scientific claim takes a voice of logical reasoning free of emotion. This requires mathematical proofs of established theories from a source with a strong educational background, a subject matter expert, and favorable reputation in the field while citing other reputable sources with related information. Masud Mansuripur is a great example in achieving such a stature as professor and Chair of Optical Data Storage at the College of Optical Sciences of the University of Arizona in Tucson. As an author of four books and over 250 technical papers in peer-reviewed journals, Dr. Mansuripur's expertise in optical and magnetic data storage, electromagnetic theory, information theory, and problems associated with radiation pressure and photon momentum inside material media is a great example of a credible source [4].

        In Mansuripur's paper there are 23 references and he provides a step by step mathematical proof to guide the scientist as he explains how to utilize the formula he found to resolve the issue of “hidden” momentum[6]. He also does a great job of explaining why the Lorentz force formula should replace the Einstein-Laub formula, saying, “A generalized version of the Lorentz law, originally proposed in 1908 by A. Einstein and J. Laub and independently rediscovered by several authors afterward, not only justifies the definition of the Poynting vector as S(r, t)=E×H, but also eliminates the problem of hidden momentum, thus bringing classical electrodynamics into compliance with momentum conservation laws.” [6] Mansuripur clearly labels areas in his paper to remain focused on the topic; for instance, he separates the section of his paper by abstract, introduction, Lorentz law and the principle of relativity, and concluding remarks. He is sure to mention instances by which his hypothesis would offer solutions, such as modeling electromagnetic charges in transparent magnetic materials.

        Although Mansuripur's work was met with much criticism, he held a noble stance as he responded cordially and did his best to explain his findings to clarify any misconceptions.[5] Mansuripur's paper utilized credibility with references, math proof, and publishing through a well known journal. He also did well in his organization, presentation, and logic. You must be reminded that even well-known scientists with credibility have been wrong and may have even hinder progress due to incorrect statements. For example, Sir Isaac Newton incorrectly hypothesized chromatic aberration could not be corrected and that light was a particle in 1703 . Newton’s misuse of credibility halted progress in these areas of physics until an optical lens designer, John Dollond, patented a solution to chromatic aberration decades later. Augustin-Jean Fresnel, a civil engineer, mathematically proved that light could show wave properties with mathematical proofs more than 100 years later [7].

Works Cited

1. H. Lorentz, “Electromagnetic phenomena,” in Wikisource (2015).

2. “History of special relativity,” in Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (2015).

3. “Lorentz force,” in Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (2015).

4. “SPIE Masud Mansuripur Profile,” in SPIE (215)

5. M. Mansuripur, “The Force Law of Classical Electrodynamics: Lorentz versus Einstein and Laub,” 2014, JS1A.3, OSA [doi:10.1364/FIO.2014.JS1A.3].

6. M. Mansuripur, “Trouble with the Lorentz law of force: Incompatibility with special relativity and momentum conservation,” Physical Review Letters 108(19) (2012) [doi:10.1103/PhysRevLett.108.193901].

7. B. WatsonLight2015, “Particle Vs. Wave - Light’s Timeless Question,” in International Year of Light Blog.

Reflection on project 2

1. The revisions done on this project were numerous, with a specific focus on the introduction and conclusion. I feel that even with the focused efforts, the peer review process showed that the introduction and conclusion were still in need of minor edits.
2. The greatest global change I made was mentioning a secondary paper written as a response to comments made on the primary paper. I felt that it would enhance the analysis and show that scientific claims are a continual process.
3. I felt that the global change was brought about when I realized that the debates are always accompanied by rebuttals. In the science community this is how they are done.
4. I feel that the global revision increased my credibility as an author because I understood that controversy is multifaceted and an ongoing process.
5. The global revision better addresses students wanting to learn about how to make scientific claims and how to handle their work becoming a controversial topic.
6. My local revisions accounted for the majority of the revisions. I tried to maintain a professional style.
7. These changes were mostly to enhance clarification and generate a stronger thesis.
8. I did not fell that I had to reconsider the conventions of the genre to reach my audience. Although I felt that I had to give more background to fill in gaps in scientific knowledge that the audience may have had.
9. The process of reflection has taught me that as an author, I should take care to view my projects from the perspective of the audience and to do that I need to consider the message and content.

9.2 Clarity, Part 2

1. Shifts - I learned about shifts in mood which could be harder to find but would greatly help to keep the right vibe for each sentence.
2. Emphasis - using coordination to combine sentences opened my mind to a new word of controlling the amount of emphasis I want to give to ideas. There are many useful ways to apply them as well. 
3. Variety - Increasing variety with inverted sentences reminds me of how Yoda would speak so I plan on using this more often.
4. Wordy Sentences - I leaned that there are many inflating phrases that could easily be reduced so I will have to keep those suggestions in mind.

In example 1, I took out unnecessary words, split up the second sentence to increase emphasis, and untangled the grammatical structure.

In example 2, I used active verb, labels and used a semicolon with a transitional phrase to draw equal attention to the ideas in the sentences.

Example 1)
original
For example, Sir Isaac Newton incorrectly hypothesized chromatic aberration could not be corrected and that light was a particle in 1703 . As a result, Dolland, an optical lens designer, found a solution to chromatic aberration decades later and Fresnel, a civil engineer, mathematically proved that light could be modeled as a wave more that 100 years later [7].

new
For example, Sir Isaac Newton incorrectly hypothesized chromatic aberration could not be corrected and that light was a particle in 1703 . Newton misuse of credibility halted progress in these areas of physics until an optical lens designer, John Dollond, patented a solution to chromatic aberration decades later. Augustin-Jean Fresnel, a civil engineer, mathematically proved that light could show wave properties with mathematical proofs more than 100 years later [7].

Example 2)
original
In his paper, he has a methodical process by which he clearly labels areas to remain focused on the topic. For instance, he separates the section of his paper by abstract, introduction, Lorentz law and the principle of relativity, and concluding remarks.

new
Mansuripur clearly labels areas in his paper to remain focused on the topic; for instance, he separates the section of his paper by abstract, introduction, Lorentz law and the principle of relativity, and concluding remarks.

Learning Reflection: Deadline 8

weekly learning reflection document
After reading Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment 8.5, Oscar Acosta's blog for assignment 8.1, Steven Duron's blog for assignment 8.4, and Cynthia Ramirez's blog for assignment 8.1, I increased my knowledge of program goal 1 by developing facility in reading the content of other students and writing comments that will help them construct better writings. A course goal I also touched on was devising strategies to help my classmates with new rhetorical strategies.

8.5 Revised Conclusion.

I think that the new conclusion is better because it has an anecdote at the end that "looks forward" and  "paints a picture". I also summarized the claims of my rhetorical analysis. Which helped answer the "so what".

Old Version:

Although Mansuripur's work was met with much criticism, he held a noble stance as heand responded cordially and did his best to further explain his findings to clarify any misconceptions.[5] However, one must be reminded that even well-known scientists with credibility have been wrong and may have even hinder progress due to incorrect statements. For example, Sir Isaac Newton incorrectly hypothesized that chromatic aberration could not be corrected. As a result, many optical lens designers refrained from investigating solutions to this optical limitation.

New Version:

Although Mansuripur's work was met with much criticism, he held a noble stance as he responded cordially and did his best to further explain his findings to clarify any misconceptions.[5] Mansuripur's paper utilized credibility with references, math proof, and publishing through a well known journal. He also did well in his organization, presentation, and logic. However, one must be reminded that even well-known scientists with credibility have been wrong and may have even hinder progress due to incorrect statements. For example, Sir Isaac Newton incorrectly hypothesized chromatic aberration could not be corrected land light was a particle in 1703 . As a result, Dolland, an optical lens designer, found a solution to chromatic aberration decades later and Fresnel, a civil engineer, mathematically proved that light could be modeled as a wave more that 100 years later [7].

8.4 Revised Introduction.

I feel that this revision is much better. I started my revised introduction with a quote from a famous physicist to grab the reader's attention. The structure is better structured to aid into spelling out the forecasting of the essay. I have made sure my thesis stood out by placing it in a good spot within the introduction.

Old Version:

        The field of optics uses Maxwell’s equations in conjunction with the Lorentz Law of Force to model experiments in theoretical physics since 1904 [1]. Hendrik Lorentz derived the modern form of electromagnetic force that year showing the contributions to the total force from both the electric and the magnetic fields [3]. Famous physicist, Poincaré, “Critically noted that the Relativity Principle, Newton's action and reaction, the conservation of mass, and the conservation of energy are not fully established and are even threatened by some experiments.” [5] Poincare points out that the inconsistencies in the Lorentz force may not be the best solution for some experiments. Masud Mansuripur's paper, "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation," suggests adopting a solution first presented by Einstein-Laub in 1908 and gives mathematically sound proof that resolve the issue of "hidden" momentum [6]. This claim brought about an uproar in the physics community when “the proponents of hidden momentum submitted several Comments to Physical Review Letters and denounced [Mansuripur's] ignorance of hidden momentum, which they described as an essential ingredient of the classical theory.”[5] Mansuripur's paper is a good example of how to submit a scientific hypothesis to the general optical physics community, even when the result may cause a large debate. This peer review process is the best way for a scientific hypothesis to be accepted or denied.

New Version:

       Famous physicist, Henri Poincaré, said, “the Relativity Principle, Newton's action and reaction, the conservation of mass, and the conservation of energy are not fully established and are even threatened by some experiments.” [5] Poincaré's comments were made in 1904 after Hendrik Lorentz derived the modern form of electromagnetic force earlier that year [3]. Masud Mansuripur's paper, "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation," suggests adopting a solution first presented by Einstein-Laub in 1908 and gives a mathematically sound proof that resolves the issue of "hidden" momentum [6]. This claim brought about an uproar in the physics community with responses that challenged Mansuripur's paper and expertise. Mansuripur defended his paper further by respectfully responding to the comments made with a follow-up paper with explicit details [5]. Mansuripur's paper is a good example of how to submit a scientific hypothesis to the general optical physics community, even when the result may cause a large debate with the physics community. Publishing research papers and the peer review process is the best way for a scientific hypothesis to be accepted or denied in the physics community.

8.2 Reflection on Project 2 Draft.

After peer reviewing Deborah Ortega's and Jon Thomas's Project 2 draft, I learned that in my project I will have to go back and do a lot of work on clarifying my sentences and eliminate the passive verbs that I used. I need to work on better transition statements. I also should check for run on sentences.

8.1 Clarity, Part 1

1. Active Verbs - I learned that replacing passive words with active verbs is especially important for scientific writing.
2.  Balance parallel Ideas - I learned that when having parallel ideas should be executed with the same type across the ideas. Whether one uses verbs, nouns, or -ings.
3. Needed words - I learned that excluding word can loose the meaning of the idea or confuse the reader due to lack of clarity.
4. misplaced and dangling modifiers - I learned that modifiers must directly modify and usually are placed right before the word they modify to keep clarity.

Reflection: I found that there is much I can do in my own paper to increase clarity, especially with action verbs.I helped Jon Thomas by revising his sentence to have an active verb gains, "Sofge gains our attention by combining emotional and logical approach." I also helped Deborah Ortega by revising her sentence to have balanced parallel ideas by having them all be nouns, "Cultural/social articles attempt to convey their message through use of personal stories, anecdotes, repetition of keywords, humor, and images to influence the emotions of the audience."

Learning Reflection: Deadline 7

weekly learning reflection document
After reading Jon Thomas's blog for assignment 7.4,  Scott Weber's blog for assignment 7.4,  Cynthia Ramirez's blog for assignment 7.4 and Anthony's blog for assignment 7.4, I was able to reflect upon my own thesis and learn that difficulties in writing a strong thesis is commonplace and that peer review of thesis writing is beneficial to the student. This helped in developing my third program goal of reflection and revision.

7.5 Draft of P2 Rhetorical Analysis.

Hi classmates,

I would like to ask for your opinion on the basic foundation of information in regards to the physics. Is is easy to read and understandable? Also should I include more information on what the "hidden momentum is? or what momentum is? Thank you.

Draft of P2 Rhetorical Analysis

7.5 Project 2 Outline.

1. Introduction
1. Thesis
1.  Mansuripur's research in physical optics has lead to resolving the issue of "hidden" momentum by utilizing the Einstein-Laub force formula, which he suggests using over the classical Lorentz force formula, due to his observations of incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum of Conservation experiments.
2. The body paragraphs
1. Cultural Analysis
1. Special Relativity
2. Classical Dynamics
3. Lorentz Force
4. Einstein-Laub Force
2. Audience Analysis
1. Theoretical Physicists
2. Experiments modeling charged particles in magnetic fields moving at relativistic speeds.
3. Has the attitude that physicist should consider abandoning the classical view for this new model predicted by the Einstein-Laub formula.
3. Assumptions Analysis
1. My beliefs
2. Scientific community beliefs
3. Do not differ in culture or historical time period
4. Common belief that scientific finding should be tested to gain acceptance.
4. Message Analysis
1. Proof that a model predicted by the Einstein-Laub formula is better suited for specific experiment parameters.
2. Does not have a strong emotional message
3. Maintains clarity in message
5. Rhetorical Strategies Analysis
1. Appeal to Credibility
1. references
2. mathematical proofs
3. experimental proof
2. Appeal to Emotion
1. very little emotions in argument
3. Appeal to Logic
1. Very logical strategy to gain the acceptance in his perspective
2. Actual result is a retaliation by those who support the classical physics view on the matter
3. The conclusion

7.4 Draft Thesis Statements.

Problem: Is the Lorentz Law of Force incompatible with Special Relativity and Momentum of Conservation, and should it be abandoned?

1.  In "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation," author Masud Mansuripur claims that the Lorentz Law of Force is incompatible with Special Relativity and Momentum of Conservation and therefore should it be abandoned and adopt the Einstein-Laub force formula to resolve "hidden" momentum issues.
2. Masud Mansuripur's paper, "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation," suggests adopting a solution first presented by Einstein-Laub in 1908 and gives mathematically sound examples that resolve the issue of "hidden" momentum.
3. Mansuripur's research in physical optics has lead to resolving the issue of "hidden" momentum by utilizing the Einstein-Laub force formula, which he suggests using over the classical Lorentz force formula, due to his observations of incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum of Conservation experiments.

I believe that the most difficult part of my thesis is being clear on the solution for the problem. It will be difficult to develop this project because I am barely learning how to use the equations he is suggesting.

7.3 Analyzing My Audience for Project 2.

• Who am I writing for?
•  New and incoming students majoring in optics. 
• What will they want to know? 
• How a public speech is rhetorically constructed/situated by people in the optic. 
• How might they react to my argument? 
• New students will want to get the experience and insight of learning the process. 
• How am I trying to relate to or connect with my audience? 
• As a student in optics at a higher class with research experience, I believe I can provide good insight for new students in the major or refer them to a more knowledgeable source.
• Are there any specific words, ideas, or methods of presentation that will help me relate to them in this way?
• I believe that having them read a research paper published in one of the most accepted optics journals will get the new student to willingly trust the manner by which this public statement is constructed and presented to others in our field.

7.2 Cluster of "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation".

Cluster Map of "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force:
Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation".

Utilizing all of the rhetorical analysis from the previous assignment, I kept to keywords and brief significant ideas of the text. This assignment was much easier having done a cluster map in our previous project.

Learning Reflection: Deadline 6.

weekly learning reflection document

After reading Oscar Acosta's blog for assignment 6.4, Scott Weber's blog for assignment 6.6, Jon Thomas's blog for assignment 6.7, and Deborah Ortega's blog for assignment 6.5, I increased my knowledge of rhetorical analysis by taking into account how culture differences even within the groups of debate can make writing an article extremely difficult if you are trying to persuade both parties of the debate. It can also increase polarization if the writer intentionally develops his message using emotions and may lead a group astray if there are many logical fallacies.

6.7 Analyzing Rhetorical Strategies in "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation".

Analysis from text.

Appeal to Credibility:

• Which items on the bulleted list of strategies on page 182 can you recognize in your text?
•  The author seems credible because he demonstrates sound logic and works out a theoretical example in math to show how his claim works better than the standard formula. He also incudes many references in his paper. The author tries his best to move the audience toward his position buy showing a mathematical example.
• How and why would the author use these strategies?
•  He uses these strategies because in the scientific community the "evidence" should both be proven mathematically and experimentally.
• How do these strategies affect the audience’s perception of the author’s credibility and character?
• The work Masud provides is sound mathematically, therefore it cause a split in the audience for those who argue for Lorentz Force  and those for Einstein-Laub use
• How does the use of these strategies impact the effectiveness of the text’s overall message?
•  It greatly enhances the text and allows him to achieve immense credibility.
• Does the author seem to have any biases or assumptions that might impact his or her credibility?
•  The greatest assumption Masud makes is that his examples constitute enough warrant to abandon the established model that was developed in the early 1900's. To truly have the support of the physics community there will have to be many more examples in which his claims are valid.

 Appeals to Emotion

• Which items on the bulleted list of strategies on pages 182-3 can you recognize in your text?
• This author does not seem to appeal to any emotion, does not use images or stories and does not use language to invoke an emotional response.
• What emotional response is the author attempting to create? 
• If any he is trying to persuade the scientific community to look at relativistic charged particle motion in a magnetic field with a different model.
• What is the actual result?
• The result was a very informative and well written research article that was persuasive with examples and demonstrations in mathematics.
• Are these emotions effective or ineffective for this particular audience and rhetorical situation?
• The lack of emotion is extremely effective because in this situation. emotional reasoning should not be a  factor in deciding what laws should be used to model physical systems.
• How do these emotional appeals affect the credibility of the author or the logic of the text?
•  The emotional appeal of imploring to abandon the old view degrades the author's work slightly since the decision should be left up to the audience after reviewing the author's findings.

Appeals to Logic

•  Which items on the bulleted list of appeals on page 183 can you recognize in your text?
•  I can recognize the global and local logic of the research article and I believe that most of the paper is written to be logical.
• What response is the author attempting to create by employing these strategies?
• The response the author attempts to achieve with his logic is to have the audience side with his perspective and follow his suggests in using the Einstein-Laub Force.
• What is the actual result?
• The actual result is discourse, confusion, and debate in the scientific field.
• Are these strategies effective or ineffective for this particular audience and rhetorical situation?
• The logic in his paper is effective, however it is a paper that stands alone in its claim and therefore lowers its credibility.
• Which items on the list of logical fallacies on pages 185-6 can you recognize in your text?
• The logical fallacy that the author may be engaging is a hasty generalization because he only has a few examples in which his claim works better than the established method, however he does have a compelling argument with the evidence he has provided.
• What effect does the use of these logical fallacies have on the reader?
• The effect it has is discrediting and has caused a major debate to erupt.

6.6 Analyzing Message in "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation".

Answers to the following questions about the text’s Message and Purpose.

• Out of all the bullet points on page 181, which seem most relevant to your text’s message and purpose? Why?
• The bullet point seems most relevant is the message that the author would like the audience to understand because he reiterates that the community should consider using Einstein-Laub Force instead of Lorentz Force when considering relativistic models of charged particles in a magnetic field.
• Which bullet points to not seem relevant to your text’s message and purpose? Why not?
• The bullet point the seems least relevant is the reaction or response of the audience because he doesn't seem to acknowledge that his claims will cause a major debate since he is going against public acceptance of physical laws.
• Are there nuances and layers to the message the author/speaker is trying to get across? If so, what are they? If not, why not?
•  Masud does his best to stay clear in his message and sticks to his main topic.

6.5 Analyzing My Own Assumptions.

Analyzing this text.

1. The social beliefs we share are the need to share our experimental findings to the scientific community in order to spread awareness of potential solutions to scientific conundrums. Although it is only a 3 year old paper, the argument has stood within debates because the theory is backed by at least 3 examples in which his theory is correct and no one has been able to disprove them.
2. The cultural difference that we do not share is that Masud believes that 3 examples is enough to suggest a different way of thinking in the scientific community, however the must be many examples from many sources to have a valid theory to be accepted and implemented into physics.
3. The text's culture is not different or distant from my own.
4. Text is not from a different historical time period.

6.4 Analyzing Audience in "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation".

The intended audience of the paper is for theoretical physicists working with equations modeling charged particles at the relativistic speeds in a magnetic fields.

The author is arguing that the classical model know as Lorentz Law of Force is inconsistent at relativistic speeds and is suggests favor towards the general expression of the electromagnetic force density known as the Einstein-Luab formula.

The attitude toward the audience is that of imploring the community was "to consider abandoning the former [Lorentz Law] and adopting the latter [Einstein-Laub force]" (1pg3).

6.2 Cultural Analysis of “Construction of Hawaii’s controversial Thirty Meter Telescope is cleared to proceed”.

5) J. Stromberg, “Construction of Hawaii’s controversial Thirty Meter Telescope is cleared to proceed,” Vox, 27 May 2015, <http://www.vox.com/2015/5/27/8669269/hawaii-tmt-telescope-mauna-kea> (accessed 10 September 2015).


The key term or similar words, I focused on was "Hawaii" such as Native, ancestor, and protester. These terms help the author convey the message the Hawaiian's are trying to voice to the public.I believe that the audience will be more likely to support because you don't connect the protests with crime and discourse, but with defense of tradition and sacred lands. Using these words the author was better able to explain the Hawaiian peoples reason to fight the construction of the telescope.




another text...




M.Mansuripur, "Trouble with the Lorentz Law of Force: Incompatibility with Special Relativity and Momentum Conservation," Cornell University Library, 15 Nov 2012, <http://arxiv.org/ftp/arxiv/papers/1205/1205.0096.pdf> (accessed 14 October 2015).





The key term or similar words, I focused on was "classical" and "relativity" which show up about 8 and 9 times in the paper. These terms help the author convey the message that there is a discrepancy in the fundamental equations normally used to model relevant experiments. I believe that the audience will be more likely to be against the author's arguement because there has not been enough supporting arguments in favor of his claims.

5.8 Evaluation of Rhetorical Situations.

Here is my Evaluation of Rhetorical Situations.

5.7 Developing a Research Question.

• What role should the African government play in building fiber optic infrastructure? 
• If Africa does this it may looses a lot of money. 
• Will Brazil's new fiber make future connections to America difficult? 
• Brazil will continue to become more and more independent. 
• Is the Lorentz law of force incompatible with special relativity and momentum conservation, and should it be abandoned? 
• It is connected to a professor in my optics college.

5.6 Reflection on Project 1.

• What challenges did you face during the Quick Reference Guide project and how did you deal with them? 
• I think my biggest challenge was incorporating quotes and identifying sentence structure. I took extra time in thesse areas to make sure I did them correctly.
• What successes did you experience on the project and how did they happen?
• I got a wealth of great feedback from my peers and apparently it was even a good example for on of the students to work off for her QRG.
• What kinds of arguments, rhetorical strategies, design choices and writing practices did you find the most effective for your project? Why?
• I think the success was found after the suggestion to make an annotated bibliography. It kept me disciplined enough to thoroughly understand the content of each of my sources and utilize them correctly in my QRG.
• What kinds of arguments, rhetorical strategies, design choices and writing practices did you find were not effective for your project? Why?
• I think that our limitation to use google drive hindered our ability to have a more artistic, marketable QRG. Maybe using a publishing editor would be better.
• How was the writing process for this project similar to other school writing experiences you’ve had in the past?
• The process was only similar in that it was only guided with 3 steps: outline, draft, and submission.
• How was the writing process for this project different from other school writing experiences you’ve had in the past?
• The biggest was the annotated bibliography and utilizing google drive.
• Would any of the skills you practiced for this project be useful in your other coursework? Why or why not?
• I honestly enjoyed the methodical and algorithmic approach to writing this paper. It is quite possibly the easiest and best paper I have ever written. So yes I will be using most of these skills on future projects.

Native Hawaiians Oppose Development, not Science of Thirty Meter Telescope

Native Hawaiians Oppose Development,

not Science of Thirty Meter Telescope

“Protesters at the TMT construction site on the summit of Mauna Kea”. via The Huffington post. 04/10/ 2015. All rights reserved

As a human being, would you allow your curiosity to supersede the values and traditions of others if it caused them emotional pain? The Thirty Meter Telescope (TMT) construction site selection has become the frustration of many in Hawaii. The three major groups involved in the TMT construction controversy are the scientific community, the state of Hawaii, and the native Hawaiians[10].

Scientific Community for TMT construction

More than a decade ago, the scientific community wanted a bigger, better telescope. A group was formed to generate studies for the optimal design and location for such a telescope. The TMT International Observatory Board (TMT IOB) was formed and TMT was set to be the new “king of the hill” on Mauna Kea, Hawaii with the other smaller thirteen telescopes already on the summit. Great science is happening and more is on the way with the imminent construction of TMT and ongoing construction of the Daniel K. Inouye Solar Telescope (DKIST) on Haleakala, Maui. The upcoming International Astronomical Union Conference (IAUC) was going to hold a preview tour of the TMT construction site, but cancelled their plans due to the protests that halted construction [2]

State of Hawaii enabling the TMT construction

The native Hawaiians are upset with the state government for giving away their sovereign land. On the other side of the controversy, after 7 years of TMT IOB’s efforts[4], the state of Hawaii gave the University of Hawaii the ability to sublease a portion of Mauna Kea’s summit. When the native Hawaiians began to peacefully protest the construction, the Department of Land and Natural Resources set an emergency rule in motion prohibiting camping equipment and access to the mountain between the hours of 10 PM and 4 AM. Protesters have remained successful and these major peaceful protests have halted construction for months[3], despite the fact that there were 31 arrests made by the police department[1].

Native Hawaiians against TMT construction site

Native Hawaiians have been against the development and desecration of its sovereign land since the Hawaiian Queen was overthrown by US supported businessmen. The desecration of Mauna Kea is a deep cut to the natives because it is believed to be the origin of the Hawaiian people. The mountain is so deeply respected and worshipped that it is reserved for special ceremonies, shrines, prayer and burial of ancestors[5]. In a great attempt to save the sacred mountain from defilement, the natives have peacefully opposed in many ways[7]. They have set boulders on roads, made human roadblocks[8], educated the public about the significance of the selected construction site, and have made oral arguments at the Hawaiian Supreme Court against the TMT construction on that particular site[6].

The struggle to be heard

A great misconception made by the scientific community and government of the state of Hawaii is that they believe the native Hawaiians are against the Thirty Meter Telescope’s scientific benefits[10]. Jay Handlin, attorney for the University of Hawaii, which sub-leases the land atop Mauna Kea for the telescope project, defended the building of TMT by stating, “The ultimate final decision of the board granting the [permit] represents the culmination of a process of years of community outreach, of dialogue, of listening, revising, reducing, modifying, mitigating, conditioning to a degree that is unprecedented in the history of astronomy at Mauna Kea.” [6] Many telescope supporters have the same view as Jay. These supporters falsely believe that abiding by state’s policies and having explained the potential scientific gains to the natives mean that there should be no opposition from the natives[9]. The truth is that the native Hawaiians have decided to openly take a stand against the development of their sacred lands. Vicky Holt Takamine, a kumu hula, or hula teacher, explains that "[The native Hawaiian people have] been advocating for no more development on Mauna Kea for years. And our words have fallen on deaf ears."[4] The native Hawaiians have no issue with the science, their opposition is the development and desecration of the sacred land in Hawaii[7]. Vicky is clear in stating that native Hawaiians oppose development, not science.





Molly Solomon. “Native Hawaiians dance in honor of Mauna Kea at the base of Pu'u Huluhulu on the Big Island” via NPR. 04/21/2015. noncommercial use without modification


Bibliography

1) The Associated Press, “8 Arrested in Protest Against Telescope on Hawaii Mountain,” in The New York Times (2015).

2) The Associated Press, “Astronomers Gather in Hawaii Amid Telescope Tensions,” in The New York Times (2015).

3) "Astronomers to restart construction of controversial telescope in Hawaii," http://news.sciencemag.org/policy/2015/06/astronomers-restart-construction-controversial-telescope-hawaii.

4) M. Solomon, “Construction Of Giant Telescope In Hawaii Draws Natives’ Ire,” NPR.org, 21 April 2015, <http://www.npr.org/2015/04/21/400390724/construction-of-giant-telescope-in-hawaii-draws-natives-ire> (accessed 10 September 2015).

5) J. Stromberg, “Construction of Hawaii’s controversial Thirty Meter Telescope is cleared to proceed,” Vox, 27 May 2015, <http://www.vox.com/2015/5/27/8669269/hawaii-tmt-telescope-mauna-kea> (accessed 10 September 2015).

6) “Hawaii Supreme Court hears Mauna Kea telescope case,” dnews.pk, 28 August 2015, <http://pkdnews.tumblr.com/post/127765100844/hawaii-supreme-court-hears-mauna-kea-telescope> (accessed 10 September 2015).

7)D. Corrigan, "Mauna Kea TMT Blockade Arrests," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR3dDKUZRlM

8)K. Dickerson, "Protesters stop telescope construction on Hawaii’s Mauna Kea," http://www.businessinsider.com/thirty-meter-telescope-construction-halted-on-hawaiis-mauna-kea-2015-6.

9) M. Solomon, "Scientists on TMT: Not Of One Mind," http://hpr2.org/post/scientists-tmt-not-one-mind#stream/0.

10) PBS HAWAII, “Should the Thirty Meter Telescope Be Built?,” YouTube, 31 May 2015, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMKgNSb1cE0> (accessed 6 September 2015).

5.3 Identifying Basic Grammar Patterns.

You can find a selected paragraph from my QRG Draft here

After this activity, I found that I use a lot of subject/verb/ indirect object sentence pattern.I would like to improve object complement patterns.

4.10 Paragraph Analysis.

Here is a my Copy for Paragraph Analysis of my QRG. I have made a thorough analysis of the paragraphs and have found that my strengths are organization, linking ideas coherently and focusing on the main point. I fall short on providing smooth transitions. I find it hard to switch topics and cannot tell if the transition is the best it can be.

4.8 Reflection on Project 1 Draft.

After peer reviewing Deborah's and Jon's Draft I got to understand a little bit more of how the style of the QRG genre is different within their field. I also gained some insight on the controversial topics they wrote on. Overall I didn't feel that a complete restructure was needed for their drafts.

In my own draft, This peer review process has encouraged me to give some more major figures.I feel that my QRG has accomplished its task of educating on my controversial topic and fulfills most of the requirements on the rubric to reach an A. I did not make the QRG an argument since it was meant to be informational. The thesis has been clear to peers outside of the ENG 102 course that have reviewed the QRG for me.The QRG covered the same topic from the perspective of 3 major groups, the state government, the scientific community and the native Hawaiians. I made sure to describe how each is involved and the relationships between each group.This QRG will most likely be read by the scientific community and the native Hawaiians the most, followed by academia.The issue is polarizing so most readers will tend to be "for" or "against" the construction, but do not consider the less known older remaining issue that has not been addressed. Because of the ease of bias without inspection, I did my best to include the older issues that lead to this controversy. I did my absolute best to keep the information under one page without images (~600 words) and also tried to have a formal tone of voice that was consistent throughout.